Are you "serving" God simply because you fear the resultant consequences of not "serving"?
If this is the relationship you have with God, it is no where near the relationship God desires with you! God desires a relationship with you that is based on genuine love and mutual admiration - yes, mutual...God wants you, He's not mad at you (never has been).
YOU WILL NEVER "SERVE" GOD ENOUGH TO RELIEVE THE FEAR AND GUILT WHICH DRIVES YOU TO PERFORMANCE!
God accepts you right here, right now. In fact, He accepted you before your physical existence :-)
The relationship which He invites you in to, one of peace and intimacy, is free from all performance! The God-head already performed on our behave...Jesus satisfied the Law and reconciled man to God on the cross - it (all work needed to please God) is finished!
Your attempt at "pleasing" God only serves to frustrate the matter. You can write another rule for yourself, keep upping the ante until you're "all in" but you will still be left confused and your "relationship" will remain cold, dead and emotionless... Slavery will be your existence never relationship!
Since the "fall" man has been an enemy with God only in His mind - Col 1:21 At one time you were separated from God. You were His enemies in your minds, and the evil things you did were against God.
Since "creation" man has been loved, wanted and pursued by God - Jn 3:16-17 God loved the world so much that He gave His one and only Son so that whoever believes in Him may not be lost, but have eternal life. 17 God did not send His Son into the world to judge the world guilty, but to save the world through Him.
Since the "cross" man has been restored, reconciled and invited to the bliss of intimacy - Mat 28-30 Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to Me. Get away with Me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with Me and work with Me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with Me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.
His Grace is Enough,
W. Adam Greer
I grew up in Northern California where I lived an extremely selfish life until the age of 29. Through a series of life altering events, I became a follower of Jesus.